God,just tell me

Every promise we can make,

every prayer and step of faith

Every difference we will make

is only by His grace

Every mountain we will climb,

every ray of hope we shine

Every blessing left behind

is only by His grace

Grace alone which God supplies

Strength unknown He will provide

Christ in us, our Cornerstone

We will go forth in grace alone

Every soul we long to reach,

every heart we hope to teach

Every where we share His peace

is only by His grace

Every loving word we say,

every tear we wipe away

Every sorrow turned to praise

 is only by His grace

The beautiful words above is the lyric of a song which titled “Grace Alone”

And now, my heart can’t stop beating.

This song reminds me with Rohkris SMAN 90. And finally, I can see how great is our God.

And why did I remember this song?

It’s about my struggle. I have to choose between serve in church or serve students.

I knew exactly I have to serve , but where is the right place?

Sometimes I hope God tell me just like the way He told Moses to release Israel. It’s not easy for me to listen His voice in all my stupidity. I’m not going to be selfish with choose the best one for me. Because finally, life never can be easy when I chose to follow Jesus. And serve is an absolute thing which I have to do when He saved me.

In my little mind, I think the meaning of serving is not always in ministry. I can serve my friends from the other way. That’s why I couldn’t reject when Ka Lancip offered me to join with theatre. After all, this is my last performance with Sembilu.

Then, I have to see the conditions of two places where God put me to serve.

First, in church and second, in the Fellowship of Jakarta Christian Students (FJCS).

I do love both of them. I’m absolutely serious with both of them. But when we have to choose one of them, It won’t be easy. When we think we can handle both of them, we also know that we works are not good enough. So, every time we think about all the possibilities, it’s only makes we more confused and hard to take the decision.

The question is, do we really choose God’s will? Or it’s only about the comfortable of ourself.